This is in dedication and memory of our friend Martha Ham...
This picture was taken during our BCF
teachers’ retreat, on July 3rd, 2012.
We were in the Bumthang District, visiting a sacred place called
Membarthso. This is a beautiful
spot where the Tang River channels through a hole in the rock , forming deep,
swirling pools. This is where Pema
Lingpa, the sacred treasure revealer, plunged back into the treacherous current
with a butter lamp to prove that his powers would prevent the flame from going
out. On this day Martha sat on a
rock here above that spot, contemplating the deep secrets of her surroundings. (Photo and caption credit Martin Thorn)
Keep this in mind when
in dire straights
Upon the vast plain of
clinging to life’s appearances,
Surrounded by your
emotions—the obscuring emotions—
You are about to be
robbed of the supreme wealth—virtue.
-Sheshen Gyaltsap, “The Great
Medicine”
The Tibetan word for body is lu, which literally means “something that is left behind.” Lu refers to the fact that we abandon
the body when we die, and then it disintegrates. On September 20th,
our beloved friend and colleague, Martha Ham, left her body and began that most
ultimate journey, whatever it is, that takes place when the soul departs it’s
worldly wrapper. A joyful adventurer and fierce individualist, she will be
forever remembered by all those who had the privilege of touching lives with
her through this experience.
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| BCF director Nancy Strickland addressing Martha's students |
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| Traditional Bhutanese cremation ceremony |
At the age of 51, she came to Bhutan like the rest of us,
bright with life, wide-eyed, wanting to live in beauty and support this
country. She was one of the 15 newbies that came this year. The last time I saw
her was over the summer break in Bumthang. She contracted a rare strain of
E-Coli and fell subject to subsequent infection. She was transported from her
Dzongkhag of Trashigang, the easternmost district of Bhutan, to the hospital in
Mongar, only an hour away from me. There, her condition rapidly deteriorated.
BCF had arranged to have her air-lifted out of Bhutan to India, but rain and
heavy fog prevented the flight. People here say it was “so unlucky.” I would
say tragic, and there are so many questions swirling around this situation and
the circumstances of her death. I didn’t know she was even ill, let alone in
critical condition, until the situation was beyond human control. I left school
early that week when I found out, after lunch on Thursday, but didn’t make it in
time. I got the news she had passed as I was waiting on the side of the road,
trying to get a ride to see her.
Martha’s knowledge and belief of Buddhism was extensive. I’ve
incidentally been reading literature that explores the foundations of Mahayana
Buddhism and the practical applications of this path. I have read that our
tendency to associate all experiences of suffering and pleasure with the notion
of a body result in obscuring emotions; thus the human condition. Martha
undoubtedly knew and may well have believed in this principal. These concepts
resonate in my heart but do little to quell quizzical mind. This unforeseeable
event, undeniably, “un-Buddhistly,” appears
to me as quite sad. She left behind three brothers in Canada, and two nephews
that she loved very dearly, who did not get to see or speak with her before her
passing. I thank and appreciate the people who knew about her condition and
were tirelessly with her until the very end, doing everything they could to
help: Becky, Vicky, Ian, Scott, Sheal, and the office assistants of her school.
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| All grouped to honor and respect Martha's passing |
The day of her passing, Thursday, Sept. 20th, Becky,
Sheal, and Ashley were already in Mongar when I finally made it. Martin and
Iman were on their way with Nancy and Nima from BCF, and arrived at about 1:00
a.m. after driving 14 hours straight. We all left in a convoy very early the
next morning to take her body for cremation at the grounds in Rangjung, a
6-hour trip east of Mongar, back in the district where she lived. We picked up
Scott and Tim on the way. Most of the high-ranking officials of the surrounding areas
were in tow, and it seemed the whole eastern side of Bhutan had heard about it
by the time we arrived and met Vicky and Ian later that day. The ceremony was
tastefully done and very reverent, in traditional Bhutanese style. Her body was
washed, wrapped, and discretely, carefully placed in a nest made of chopped wood, artfully
covered and adorned with the customary ceremonial fabrics. An alter was made,
offerings were given; prayers and chanting reverberated and undulated
omnisciently throughout the entire ceremony. Then, the fire was lit, and
Martha’s human remains joined her spirit as smoke and became infused into the
open sky. It was humbling, beautiful. Principals, District Education Officers,
Dashos, teachers, and students flooded the cremation grounds to show their
respect and support. Martha’s brother was on the phone and got to hear the
prayers and goings on. I appreciate the honor and veneration with which Martha
and her family were treated. We have been assured the doctors did everything
they could do, and they did it correctly. Even His Majesty himself wrote a kind
letter of condolences to her family.
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| There were incidentally two cremation ceremonies happening simultaneously |
Yet, it has been over two weeks and I am still in shock and
quite incapable of completely processing, or even relating, it in a
satisfactory way. I haven’t been able to write about it because I have not had
power since last week; (thus no Internet) but I have also not had the words.
Here is what I wrote in my journal as I sat on the side of the road there waiting
to get to Mongar, after having just heard: “…she was so full of life, strong
and energetic. Tough as nails, yet compassionate and kind to the core. She felt
immediately familiar to me in a way not many do…it’s literally unbelievable.” It’s
difficult to write more about this, to know what else to say, other than I pray
for the healing of Martha’s family, and wish I could more eloquently and
completely articulate the facts and feelings surrounding this unpredictable
thing. All those who knew her will always remember Martha Ham. I am honored to
have had the privilege to have known her, however briefly.
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| Fly high |
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| Butter lamps lit in honor of 14 days of Martha's passing |
We love you, Martha
